#6 - Are You Letting Little Things Steal Your Peace?

In marriage, it’s not always the big issues that cause the most damage—it’s the little daily irritations that slowly chip away at our peace and connection.

In this episode of the Stronger Deeper Marriage Show, I share a personal story about how something as simple as a pair of shoes left in the wrong place began to trigger frustration in my marriage—and how I learned to shift my mindset and manage my emotions instead of letting them manage me.

🎧 Inside this episode, you’ll discover:

• How to recognize and release petty frustrations
• The value of seeking wise counsel and fresh perspective
• Why choosing peace over perfection leads to a stronger relationship

Whether you’ve been married for 2 years or 20, this episode will help you reset your emotional responses and refocus on what truly matters.

Listen now and choose peace, one small moment at a time.

#ChristianMarriage #FaithAndRelationships #EmotionalIntelligence #MarriagePodcast #StrongerDeeperMarriage #PeaceInMarriage

Transcript

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Hey everyone. Welcome to the Stronger Deeper Marriage Show. I'm Lucille Reddick and I've been married for over 39 years. For more than 20 years, I've been guiding men and women towards creating blissful marriages. I travel around the country speaking about healthy marriage relationships, and I'm the author of that Secret Sauce, essential Ingredients for Creating an Exceptional Marriage Book. This is your go-to source for building a thriving marriage filled with long lasting happiness, peace, purpose, and passion. Whether you're a woman or a man, join us as we navigate the journey to a stronger, more fulfilling relationship without the fear of vulnerability and rejection. In this episode, we're diving into the next subchapter from my book. Let's get started. In today's episode, we're continuing our journey with the subchapter managing negative emotions in marriage. This section offers practical solutions for handling the small irritations that can build up in marriage. It encourages us to refocus and choose peace. You know, marriage is such a beautiful journey, but let's be honest, it's not always sunshine and smooth sailing. There are moments when small things start to feel a lot bigger than they really are, and sometimes it's not the major conflicts that challenge us, but those little daily annoyances that can build up over time. I wanna take a moment to talk about something we face managing negative emotions in marriage, whether it's frustration, irritation, or just that nagging feeling of being unappreciated. We've all been there and if you've ever felt yourself getting upset over something small, something that in hindsight wasn't worth the energy. Then you're in the right place. Let me share a story with you that really opened my eyes to how I was letting small things get the best of me and how I learned to shift my focus. Early in our marriage, I found myself getting upset over small things that seemed to happen repeatedly. One of the biggest ones, my husband would take off his shoes and leave them right in the den. Or the family room. It felt like no matter how many times I asked them to put them away, they'd end up in the same spot. I'd walk in, see them there, sometimes trip over'em, and I'd immediately feel frustrated. In my mind, I thought, why can't he just take them to the room, put'em in the closet, whatever. It's not that hard at first. I let it slide. But the more it happened, the more I felt like it that it was a personal attack, like he wasn't listening or respecting my efforts to keep the house in order. Eventually I realized I was allowing something as small as a pair of shoes to set the tone for my day. I'd carry that frustration into our interactions, and it started creating unnecessary tension between us. One day I confided in a close friend who had been married for a long time. I told her about the shoe situation and how it was really starting to bother me, and she laughed, not at me, but at how similar the situation sounded to hers. She said, Lucille. I used to get upset about the same kinds of things, but I decided that if shoes on the floor were the biggest problem I had, I was doing pretty well. That hit me. She encouraged me to shift my focus, to stop letting the little things overshadow the bigger picture of what really mattered in our marriage. So the next time I saw those shoes, instead of stewing in frustration, I prayed. I picked them up, put them in the closet and let it go. I reminded myself that those shoes belonged to a man who worked hard for our family and loved me deeply. In that moment, I chose peace. Over irritation and surprisingly, I felt lighter. From then on, I stop allowing small annoyances to have power over me. Now, there are three takeaways I hope you get. One is shift your perspective. Don't sweat the small stuff. Small frustrations will always pop up in marriage, but it's important to recognize. When they're not worth the emotional weight, ask yourself, is this worth disrupting the peace in my home? Most of the time the answer is no. Number two, seek wise counsel and support. Surround yourself with friends and mentors who uplift your marriage and provide sound advice. Talking to someone with more experience can offer new insights and help you let go of unnecessary frustrations. Now, remember I said wise counsel, not the single friend or relative that's never been married and doesn't have a frame of reference. Now a single friend of relative can also give wise counsel. If they are uplifting your marriage and encouraging you. Number three, choose peace over perfection. Not everything will go exactly the way you want it in marriage, and that's okay. Focusing on the positives like your spouse's love, hard work presence. That fosters gratitude and strengthens your relationship. Sometimes the best response is simply to pray. Adjust your attitude, attitude, and move forward with grace.'cause guess what? We don't always do the things that our spouse wants us to do either. So there's that part. So what would that look like for you? When you're experiencing negative, a negative emotion? How are you going to encourage yourself and focus on the positives? I'd like to pray for our marriages now. Heavenly Father, thank you for the gift of marriage and for the love and partnership you've given us. Lord, we know that while marriage is a blessing. It also brings moments of challenge and frustration. Sometimes the little things can build up and weigh on our hearts. We ask for your grace and wisdom to help us navigate these moments with patience, love, and understanding. Father, we lift up every marriage today for those carrying negative emotions. Whether from unspoken words, misunderstandings, or the daily stresses of life, may your peace settle over their hearts. Help us to remember that our spouse is not the enemy, and that the small irritations do not define our relationship. Teach us, oh Lord, to focus on the good. To extend grace when things don't go as we expect and to cherish the gift of companionship that you have given us. Help us to release the burdens we've been holding onto and replace them with gratitude, love, and a renewed sense of connection. Strengthen our marriages. Father. Let your presence be the foundation that holds us together. And may your love guide us through every season. We thank you for being our source of peace, and we trust you to work in our hearts and in our homes. In Jesus' name we pray. Amen. Now that's a glimpse into the subchapter managing negative emotions in marriage from my book, that secret sauce, essential ingredients for creating an Exceptional Marriage. That's all for today's episode of The Stronger Deeper Marriage Show. You may hear my dog in the background. Thank you so much for spending time with me today. I deeply appreciate each and every one of you for tuning in. If you enjoyed today's episode, please make sure to like and subscribe to the show. To the show so you never miss an episode. And if you know someone who could benefit from our conversations, share the podcast with them. For more valuable content about relationships, sign up for my newsletter. Join us next time as we continue to explore ways to strengthen and deepen your marriage. Until then, keep striving for a marriage full of peace, purpose, and passion.