#3 - Marriage Takes Work – How to Stay Committed and Connected

In this empowering episode of The Stronger Deeper Marriage Show, we explore the subchapter "Commitment – Fight for Your Marriage" from my book, That Secret Sauce: Essential Ingredients for Creating an Exceptional Marriage.

Marriage isn’t always easy, and there are moments when distractions, temptations, or even complacency threaten to pull couples apart. In this episode, we’ll dive into why staying committed and protecting your marriage is essential for long-term success.

Join me as I share practical ways to refocus on your spouse, avoid relationship deal-breakers, and cultivate a marriage that stands the test of time. Whether you’re in a challenging season or simply looking to strengthen your relationship, this episode will encourage you to keep fighting for the love and partnership you’ve built.

Let’s commit to protecting, nurturing, and investing in our marriages—one intentional step at a time.

Transcript

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What's going on, everyone, and welcome to the Stronger, Deeper Marriage Show. My name is Lucille Reddick, and I've been married for over 39 years. For more than 20 years, I've been coaching married men and women, as well as those who hope to get married in the future, to create blissful marriages. I travel around the country speaking about healthy marriage relationships, and I am the author of the book, That Secret Sauce, essential ingredients for creating an exceptional marriage. Now, this show is your go-to source for building a thriving marriage filled with long-lasting happiness, peace, purpose, and passion. Whether you're a woman or a man, join us as we navigate the journey to a stronger, more fulfilling relationship without the fear of vulnerability and rejection. If you enjoy the show, please make sure to like and subscribe so you never miss an episode. In this episode, I want to talk about the next subchapter of my book. Let's dive right in, shall we? Now, this subchapter, the title is Commitment, Fight for Your Marriage. Today's episode focuses on the importance of commitment and practical ways to fight for your marriage. Why should you fight for your marriage and spouse? Because certain deal breakers can immediately sink your relationship. Avoid them like the plague. Stay away from even the appearance of these deal breakers. If the temptation arises, run. It is unrealistic to expect that you will be happy all the time in your marriage. Focus on the things that will improve your marriage. Sometimes life happens and we take our focus off of our marriage. The demands of work, parenting, could be taking care of parents. Those might take our focus away from our marriage. But always, always, always bring the focus back and remember that you must put some energy into your marriage and connecting with your spouse. Let me share a personal story about the importance of commitment in my marriage. There was a time in our marriage when life felt like it was spinning out of control. Our kids were young. My husband and I were both working long hours. And on top of that, we were also helping to care for my aging mom. My days were packed from morning to night between work, school events, and sporting events that the kids were involved in, and household responsibilities. It felt like I was always on. running from one thing to the next without ever catching a break. Now, in the middle of all that busyness, I started feeling distant from my husband. We barely had a chance to sit down together. And when we did, we were usually too exhausted to even talk. It wasn't that we were fighting or having problems. It was more like we had become partners And just managing life rather than being partners in our relationship. There was just no time for us. And I felt the absence of that closeness deeply. One night after everyone had gone to bed, I sat in the quiet of the den or living room. I don't remember which one. I just prayed. And I asked God for guidance. to help in bringing some life back to our marriage. I wanted to feel connected again, and I knew that change needed to start with me. I didn't talk to my husband about it. I just made the decision then and there to make some adjustments. The next day, I started with small things. I made a point to greet my husband with a smile when he came from work. Instead of just being wrapped up in whatever I was doing, I tried to find little ways to show I cared. There was packing him a lunch from now, every now and then, or even a note in with the lunch, or just making sure to sit with him, just briefly at the end of a long day. Then, I decided to create a simple routine just for us. Once a week after putting the kids to bed, we would share a favorite snack or dessert just for the two of us. At first, it was quiet. Neither of us had much to say, but over time, these little adjustments became something we both look forward to. Those simple weekly moments of connection were exactly what we needed to remind ourselves of our partnership and our commitment to each other. I hoped that these small changes would make a big impact, and they did. We began to feel closer, more like a team again. Through prayer and those small acts of intentional connection, I found that my feelings of distance slowly faded and our marriage felt renewed. It reminded me that even in the busiest of seasons, God can use small gestures to strengthen our commitment to each other. Now, my solution was, number one, turning to prayer for guidance. Instead of confronting my husband with my feelings, I just prayed about this one and asked God to guide me, trusting that the answers would come in his way. Number two, I took it upon myself to make little gestures and establish simple routines that brought us closer together, showing that even small, consistent efforts can reignite a sense of connection. So let me share with you three takeaways. Number one, prioritize your marriage even when life gets busy. It's natural for work, family, and other obligations to demand our attention, but it's essential to focus on our marriage regularly. Even small intentional acts can help you reconnect and keep your marriage relationship strong. Number two, avoid relationship deal breakers and guard your commitment. Now, certain behaviors or influences can harm or even end relationships. Be mindful to avoid them and set boundaries that protect your marriage. Recognize that commitment means staying loyal to the vows you made, even when faced with temptations or challenges. Number three, reconnect in simple ways. Reconnecting doesn't mean I have to involve these grand gestures, simple things like just setting aside time to pray for your spouse, enjoying a weekly date night or sharing a cup of coffee or dessert together can go a long way in strengthening your bond. The effort to connect, even in small ways, is what keeps your commitment alive. Now I want you to think about what are some things you can do Reflect on this and take some actionable steps to prioritize your marriage. I'd like to pray for our marriages now. Heavenly Father, we come before you today with grateful hearts, thanking you for the gift of marriage. Lord, we acknowledge that life can sometimes pull our focus in many directions, And it's easy to let our relationships slip into the background. But today, we ask you to help us to recommit to the vows we've made and to the love you've placed between us. Father, I pray for every marriage listening to this episode. Help each couple to remember why they chose one another and to see the beauty and strength in their relationship. Remind them, Lord, that no matter how busy life gets, marriage is worth the energy, the love, and the commitment we give it. Guide us all to resist anything that could harm our relationships and help us to stay focused on building a marriage that honors you. Lord, grant us the wisdom to find those small moments to reconnect with and to make time for one another. Help us to love each other with patience, understanding, and grace. When we feel distant or disconnected, let us turn to you first for guidance and strength. Father, may every marriage here be renewed with a deeper commitment and a stronger focus. Let your love be the foundation of every union and let your peace fill each home. We thank you, Lord, for the beautiful gift of marriage, and we trust you to keep us united and strong. It's in Jesus' name we pray. Amen. Now that's a glimpse into the subchapter, Commitment, Fight for Your Marriage, from my book, That Secret Sauce, Essential Ingredients for Creating an Exceptional Marriage. I'd like for you to... That's all for today's episode of the Stronger Deeper Marriage Show. Thank you so much for spending your time with me today. I deeply appreciate each and every one of you for tuning in. And if you know someone who could benefit from our discussions, share the podcast with them. And if you found value in today's episode, please tell others about the show. And for more valuable content about relationships, sign up for my newsletter. Join us next time as we continue to explore ways to strengthen and deepen your marriage. Until then, keep striving for a marriage full of peace, purpose and passion.