#2 - You Matter – Embracing Your God-Given Worth in Marriage

In this heartfelt episode of The Stronger Deeper Marriage Show, we dive into the subchapter "Feeling Unimportant?" from my book, That Secret Sauce: Essential Ingredients for Creating an Exceptional Marriage.

Many women (and men) experience moments in marriage when they feel overlooked or underappreciated. If you've ever wondered, "Do I even matter?" – this episode is for you. Together, we'll explore how to combat those feelings by remembering your worth in God’s eyes and recognizing the unique value you bring to your relationship.

Join me as we reflect on practical ways to shift our focus, embrace the truth of who we are, and reignite the sense of importance and appreciation in marriage. Let this episode encourage you to see yourself as the “good thing” God says you are and to stand confidently in your role as a spouse.

Listen in, and let’s walk this journey of self-worth and marriage renewal together!

Transcript

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Hey everyone, welcome to the Stronger, Deeper Marriage show. I'm Lucille Reddick and I've been married for over 39 years. For more than 20 years, I've been guiding men and women towards creating blissful marriages. I travel around the country speaking about healthy marriage relationships and I'm the author of That Secret Sauce, Essential Ingredients for Creating an Exceptional Marriage book. In this show, I want to be your go-to source for building a thriving marriage filled with long-lasting happiness, peace, purpose, and passion. Whether you're a woman or a man, join us as we navigate the journey to a stronger, more fulfilling relationship without the fear of vulnerability and rejection. Now, this episode is called Feeling Unimportant. It's a subchapter in my book. This section addresses the common feelings of being unimportant or unappreciated in marriage and offers guidance on how to overcome those feelings. Many women and men express that they feel unimportant or unappreciated in their marriage. When these feelings arise, it's important to remind yourself of how important you are to God. Proverbs 18, 22 says, This is the New American Standard Version says, He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord. Wives, you are his good thing. Husbands, realize that you are blessed by the Lord to have a purpose partner. So, perhaps as a child, you were made to feel unimportant. Maybe at work you feel unimportant and now in your marriage you're feeling unimportant or unappreciated. Remember, you are important because God says you are important. Psalms 139.14 tells us that you are awesomely and wonderfully made, which means he took great care in creating you and me. Let me share a personal story about feeling unimportant in my marriage and how I overcame it. There was a time several years into our marriage when I went through a season of feeling completely unimportant. I was doing so much, working outside the home, raising the children, managing the family finances, making sure everything ran smoothly. But despite all of that, it felt like my efforts were invisible. I kept thinking, does he even notice? Does he even care? One particular evening after a long day, I remember serving a meal that I'd spent hours preparing. And the family, we ate together. But it felt like I was just going through the motions of life and I felt like I was being taken for granted. I'd always put so much effort into making sure that he and the kids were taken care of. But in that moment, I felt like nothing more than just a caretaker. I felt unseen, unappreciated, and unloved. It wasn't just about the dinner. It was a buildup of small moments where I felt neglected. I went to our room, I sat on the bed, and I cried. I prayed and I asked God, am I enough? Why does it feel like I'm invisible in my own home. The next day, instead of letting the hurt grow, I knew I needed to express my feelings. After the kids were in bed, I sat down with my husband and I told him how I was feeling. I was vulnerable and it wasn't easy. I shared how it hurt to feel like everything I was doing for our family went unnoticed. How I missed feeling appreciated and how lonely it made me feel. Even though we were living under the same roof. He was deeply moved by my words. He hadn't realized the toll that everyday life had taken on our connection. In his mind, he was working hard for us. And in the midst of providing, he hadn't been paying attention to how much I was doing or how I was feeling. He apologized. And we sat there and talked about how we both had been neglecting the small but important things like thanking each other, recognizing each other for each other's efforts, and being intentional about showing appreciation. From that moment, we decided we'd be more mindful of our relationship. We made a promise to express more gratitude to each other. Whether it was thanking me for dinner or appreciating something he did with the kids, it became a regular practice in our home. We also scheduled more time for us to connect, like weekly date nights. Now the change didn't happen overnight. but gradually I began to feel seen again. I realized that I needed to not only express my needs, but also take time to appreciate myself and the role I played in our family. As my husband became more intentional about showing his appreciation, I began to feel valued again. We grew stronger from that experience, learning that even in the busy seasons of life, Showing love and appreciation is a commitment we must make daily. Now, the solution here was twofold. Number one, it was open communication. It's essential to express your feelings when you're feeling unappreciated. No one is a mind reader, and sometimes our loved ones may not even realize the impact their actions or lack thereof are having on us. Vulnerability and honesty can bring about healing. Now, the second part of that is intentional appreciation. Together, we decided to create a habit of showing appreciation to one another, even in the smallest things. This helped rebuild the feeling of being valued, and it reaffirmed that both partners, both of us, have an important role in the marriage. Another way to combat feelings of unimportance is I recommend affirming yourself, building yourself up, and reminding yourself how important you are to God. Look around and see how important you are to the people around you. Surround yourself with positive people who will speak life into you. Read positive material and remind yourself of the important things you do in your marriage. Just take a moment and think about the roles you play. Are you the one who keeps the house neat and clean? Are you the one who manages the bills? Are you ensuring that the kids get to school and practice and doctor's appointments and all of that? Whatever your role is, remind yourself of the critical part you play in your marriage and know that you matter. You matter. Well, That's a glimpse into the subchapter feeling unimportant for my book. And that's all for today's episode of the Stronger, Deeper Marriage Show. Thank you so much for spending your time with me today. I deeply appreciate each and every one of you for tuning in. If you found value in today's episode, click the like button and subscribe so you can be notified when new episodes drop. Please tell others about the show and for more valuable content about relationships, sign up for my newsletter. The link will be in the show notes. Join us next time as we continue to explore ways to strengthen and deepen our marriage. Until then, keep striving for a marriage full of peace, purpose, and passion. Bye-bye.